Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

I guess there is such a thing as too many robots.

The plot revolves around Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), the human caught in the war between two factions of alien robots, the Autobots and Decepticons. Sam is having visions of Cybertronian symbols, and being hunted by the Decepticons under the orders oJosf their long-trapped leader, The Fallen, who seeks to get revenge on Earth by finding and activating a machine that would provide the Decepticons with an energon source, destroying the Sun and all life on Earth in the process.

Now since the third one is coming out, I just wanted to brush up on the last two and as much fun as I had with the first one, it was all lost when I saw this heaping pile of shit.

First off, the plot doesn’t even matter. It’s just another excuse to get a lot of these robots fighting something that entertained me so much in the first, here, not so much. The special effects are good but other than that I had no real idea what the hell was going on and nor did I really care that much since this plot is stupid to begin with, and keeps on getting dumber and dumber as time goes on.

Director Michael Bay took all that money he got from the first film’s box-office and spent it all on crack, soda, and pills. That actually sounds like it would be awesome, but it’s just insane what he puts on screen here. The action was annoying because all these special effects are flying around the whole screen and the problem was I had no idea who was fighting who. I know Optimus Prime is red and blue, and Bumblebee is orange with a slight tint of yellow, but everybody else is just gray, so I really had no idea who was fighting. But once again, nor did I care.

But I almost forgot to get started on the script which is just dumb, stupid, and lame. I actually laughed a lot at the first one, but all the dialogue here just seems like a crappy punch-line for a joke that didn’t need to be there and wasn’t even funny in the first place. I think they wrote this script as the film went along and for almost two-and-a-half-hours, I just totally zoned out.

Just to prove to you how dumb this script really is with this one scene in this film where out of nowhere, they find a robot that can teleport from Egypt but for some odd reason, no other robot actually has that ability. Why? No reason. Just does I guess. Once again, I did not care, and after about the third scene of showing two dogs humping, somebody getting tasered, and annoying robot mythology, you’ll start to see what I mean.

Shia LaBeouf was actually really charming in the first one as well but he really doesn’t know what to do here and I don’t quite think that was his fault. All Shia does here really is flair his nostrils, run from things, and yell; “Optimusss!”. However, I think it would have been a better film with the title; “Transformers: Revenge of Megan Fox’s Ass“. I have no idea just what the hell she does here other than share this scared face she does the whole entire film but she’s still hot, so I can’t hold too much against her. The rest of the cast doesn’t matter because stars like Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, and Rainn Wilson just feel like extras here and are used for nothing else other than just little story distractions.

But the one thing about this film that really pissed me off was the completley stereotypically racist portrayal of the two “hip” bots, that were obviously black. These two robots are the most blatant forms of black-face that I have ever seen and there not even funny, if you find that stuff funny. I don’t know if Bay has talked to many black people even though he has because Tyrese Gibson was in this, but whatever black people he talks to must jive-talk the whole conversation. That’s all that these two do and once you see what I’m saying, you’ll just hate this film even more too.

Consensus: The special effects are at least done nice but other than that, this terrible sequel features no humor, a very hard and confusing plot to follow, characters and robots we didn’t care about, and the most random shit blowing up all-over-the-screen for two-and-a-half hours. Thanks Michael Bay! Asshole.



  1. Honest to God, I only made it twenty minutes into this film. I just had no idea what the bugger was going on.

  2. Not surprised you hated this one. By the way, I had a review for ROTF done some time ago and I regret to say that I sounded very generous with the film because only thinking about the twin bots automatically enrages me.

  3. I borrowed the blu ray for this from a friend about a year ago and still haven’t watched it. I think I’m going to have to suffer through it so I can at enjoy the 3-D atrocity of the latest!

  4. You feel better that you got it out Dan? I did too when I wrote my ROTF eval a few days ago:)

    God it hurts to sit through it but while it’s an indiscernible mess some how Blu Ray at least makes it look pretty:P I’ve seen it three times and it gets tougher to put down each time but I’ve found if some things we’re omttied and you trimmed 30 mins out it could have been saved, but it is Bay after all and he has no restraint. I love the line where you say, “took all that money he got from the first film’s box-office and spent it all on crack, soda, and pills” thanks for the laugh!

    I wrote a post called Movie Better Enjoyed on Mute. I think I need to do a follow up and put this in the no 1 or 2 spot.

  5. You know something. I tried watch this film through scattered viewings and I couldn’t make out what the hell was happening. The humor was off, the action was just overblown and I couldn’t tell who was who. Everyone in the college scenes looked like models. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t horrible. It was a whole lot worse than that and it fulfilled all of my expectations in what I expect in a piece of shit film by Michael Bay. The sad thing is that it wasn’t the worst film that came out in 2009. That dis-honor went to “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”. Shit.

    • This is worse than terrible and basically everything here does not work one bit. I actually think I can agree with you on the worst of 2009, except maybe X-Men Origins was a little better. Just a little but still shittastic!

      • Revenge isn’t the best, but I will say that Dragonball was worse, in my opinion. At least I could enjoy the explosions in Revenge, whereas Dragonball was just boring.

  6. I think one of the problems was the writers strike. Bay had to enter production with a script that was rushed in two weeks before the strike, and by the time it ended it was too late to do major revisions. It is interested that Ehren Kruger, the guy brought in to make sure Revenge was finished on time, is the sole writer of the third one and does a considerably better job with it.

  7. 1.5 out of 10? Please. I find it a little difficult to swallow that you can rate this trash 1.5 and give the 3rd trashy installment 7.5? I too was a fan of the first Transformers, I did, however, have low expectations of plot and script consruction and so,consequently, was able to enjoy the simple, visual and audiable trashy feast that was presented to me via the big screen. Needless to say, I had the same expectations for the 2nd installment. I was neither dissapointed nor surprised. It gave me exactly what I had come to expect from the franchise. Overall, I’d have to say the 3rd movie was deffinetly the one I least enjoyed, but this was due more to the fact that, I think, I was becomming bored with the whole transformers idea mid way through the last film. I had become, as you might say, “Transformered” out.
    To me, there isn’t much difference between the films, all of them ranging from a 6 to 7 out of 10.
    Anyway, your site is very good and contains excellent reviews. Check ours out when you get a chance.

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