Small weenies are so funny….
After discovering that his mild-mannered parents were huge porn stars in the 1970s, a young man (Nick Swardson) bids farewell to his small Iowa hometown and seeks his destiny in Los Angeles, where he aims to become the world’s most popular adult-film actor. The only problem is that he is not that well-equipped if you know what I mean.
Knowing that it scored a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes and was considered one of the biggest box-office flops of 2011, you are all probably wondering why I even wasted my time reviewing this. Well my friends, let’s just say I didn’t want to say that ‘Apollo 18’ was the worst flick of the year.
Directed by Tom Brady (no not that one, but it could have possibly been done by him) this is a flick that takes essentially a one-joke premise and stretches it out beyond belief, until there is absolutely nothing funny in it at all. The whole film is basically just about this dude Bucky Larson who has a small pee-pee and takes the porn industry by storm and gives hope to everyone all over the world. It’s a stupid idea in the first place but it just keeps on getting worse and worse until the point of where I had nothing to actually laugh at let alone even watch.
This is also all thanks to Adam Sandler, who actually co-wrote the script and since he has been doing a lot of PG/PG-13 comedies as of late, he’s finally allowed to once again branch out into R-rated territory, which makes this film even worse. The constant dick, sex, fart, boobs, vagina, and porn jokes just aren’t funny and instead of actually saying the word “dick”, they try all of these little cool slang words that I guess Sandler has been using for ages now but finally is able to let loose now that he isn’t catering to the whole family audience. Now of course I had about two chuckles that seemed completley forced but still chuckles none the less, but the whole formula of this fish-out-of-water comedy is just too lazy and the whole time this film just tries to resort to lame jokes that will only make you laugh if you’re the biggest perv in the world.
Now let me get to the real problem of this film and that is the title character himself, Bucky Larson played by Nick Swardson. I think that Swardson is a funny dude and I’m glad to see that he has finally gotten a chance to head-line a comedy for once but I just wish it was another flick and another character entirely since each quality is terribly annoying. Bucky is that kind-hearted, country bumpkin that was so sheltered from the outside world that he doesn’t know what to do around all of these naked chicks instead just automatically jizz everywhere that we usually get with these types of films, but it never works once here and I just wanted to punch Bucky in the face every time and knock those obviously fake buck-tooth out of his mouth. He’s annoying and he has this incredibly dumb Iowa accent where he over-exaggerates his r’s in everyday language. Poor Swardson, he deserves a lot better but the sad thing is that after being in a flick like this, it’s a little too hard to get anymore work that will even come close to having us forget about Bucky Larson.
Everybody in this film blows too, and are basically just a bunch of cartoon characters played by some familiar faces that we have seen every once and awhile. Christina Ricci is totally one-dimensional as Bucky’s lady-friend, Kathy McGee but she’s incredibly cute and hot so that was the one positive to her performance; Stephen Dorff plays the porn-industries own George Clooney as Dick Shadow, who looks like he came straight from an 80’s hair-metal music video and desperately wanted to go back after he realized what shit he just got put in; the incredibly washed-up Don Johnson doesn’t do anything here as the porno director, Miles Deep (Getttt ittt?!?!?!); and Kevin Nealon is probably the only one who had me chuckle and even that was a big-ass stretch considering this guy is so random and spends almost every single one of his scenes just screaming at the top of his lungs at something. You’ll of course see the usual Happy Madison crew pop-in every once and awhile but it’s a real shame that stars like Dorff and Ricci took shit like this considering they are very talented, and if this is the kind of material they’re going to be getting from now on then they should definitely fire whoever the hell is responsible for putting them in this crap.
Consensus: With a one-joke premise, unfunny jokes that seem to be raunchy just for the sake of being raunchy, and plenty of other annoying elements including the title character himself, Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star does nothing new with this obviously tired formula and is definitely one of the worst films of 2011.
Here’s how bad this movie is.
When I saw the facebook link and knew you had written it up? I got afraid. I was like, Oh Dan… please don’t have LIKED this… LOL.
Thankfully, 0.5 is about right!! LOL Maybe a little generous. 😀
Decency and good taste prevail. Carry on the good work Dan-o!
Don’t worry dude I won’t let ya down. This one blows beyond belief! Thanks!
Never heard of this and it seems to be for good reason, so why the 0.5 points? 😉
Don’t even bother with it and the only reason I gave it a 0.5 is because it had me laugh at one part that was completely random as hell. Thanks Nostra!
Wow, what does it take to get a flat zero from you? 😀
Hahah I don’t even know myself! Maybe a film that is just terrible the whole time.
I think to get a flat 0 Nick Swardson as Bucky Larson would have to come to your house and hit you. This movie was really terrible, and it made me feel bad for Don Johnson and Christina Ricci.
Good job taking one for the team, Dan. I don’t think I could bring myself to watch this filth, even for the sake of the blog. As you said, it’s too bad that Christina Ricci and Stephen Dorff got dragged into this. Ouch.
Oh Dan. I hope you saw something you love to wash away the filth that you saw. I never liked Nick Swardson. I never thought he was funny and I always felt he was trying too hard. I’m sure this is the worst film of 2011. Well, either that or Jack & Jill. I do have a sadomasochistic tendency to watch bad movies. At least it will give me, as an aspiring filmmaker, to say “don’t ever do that”.
Oh this looked bad through and through when I saw the trailer when it first came out. I was like yeah…no. (Btw, have you seen 30 Minutes or Less? I thought that MIGHT have been promising, but it was AWFUL for me. It was one of the rare times I just walked out of a movie about 30 minutes into it. I probably should have left earlier, now that I think about it.)
LOL to your rating though! That had me rolling, the words you associate with that rating number. Have you ever rated another movie that low before?
And psst. I made an amendmentish comment on your Tinker Tailor entry. Hahahahaha.