Zoe (2018)

So are fem-bots out of the question?

Cole Ainsley (Ewan McGregor) is currently in the midst of creating the perfect female prototype for a new love-making robot that will not only sell and make people rich, but also provide plenty of other people the love that they so need and desire. Sort of like him. After it turned out that he and his ex-wife (Rashida Jones) weren’t going to be a perfect fit through some app-service, they broke up and he’s now left alone, sad, lonely, and in desperate need of some love. But where he’s going to find it? Then, he meets Zoe (Lea Seydoux), his new assistant who has a little something going for him. But why? Is it because she genuinely likes him? Or is there something sinister at-play?

Honestly, I may have to give up on Drake Doremus after Zoe. It’s the kind of slow, stupid, and pretentious film that film-school students make when they have literally no money, but so many ideas brewing and rolling around in their heads, that they just throw whatever they can out there and hopefully move past it. Those are the kinds of movies that, when you become a respected film-maker, don’t have to make again, because you’ve been down that road before and you’re in a much better place now.

Just do it already?

But for some reason, Doremus is still making those kinds of movies. With this and last year’s Newness, for some reason, Doremus seems to love the lush look of his movies and clearly puts a lot of effort into the vision, but when it comes to actually having something heartfelt, powerful, interesting, or hell, compelling to work with, he just doesn’t come together with anything. He seems bored, lifeless and as if he’s just going through the motions, which makes me wish that he would just take some time off, gather his thoughts and come up with a better movie in the meantime.

It’s the least he could do because, guys, Zoe is bad.

Like really bad.

Can you blame Ewan?!? Look at that beauty!

And it’s weird, too, because while the premise isn’t the most original, there should still be something interesting to talk about when discussing the relationship between love and technology, right? Well, not really. Doremus seems to try his best and make this a movie about everlasting love, but loses his point about mid-way through when we end-up in a brothel full of other robots. Which, I realize that, on paper, sounds great and a lot of fun, but Zoe is anything but fun.

If anything, it’s drab, dull, and a little too pleased with itself to even think of being fun. Which is weird because with a cast that’s this great and lovely, when given the right material to work with, just don’t seem all that invested. McGregor tries, Seydoux isn’t compelling enough to be mysterious, Theo James shows up, Rashida Jones does what she can, Christina Aguilera literally plays a robot-hooker, and Miranda Otto plays the owner of the robot-brothel. Why is nobody here interesting? Why does everyone speak like their every English major’s wet-dream?

Why am I still talking about this junk? Okay. See yea later.

Consensus: Another attempt at combining sci-fi and romance, Zoe proves to be another weak and ill-attempt from Drake Doremus, who should take a small break and regroup himself.f

2.5 / 10

So magical and lovely. So why does this romance blow?

Photos Courtesy of: Amazon Studios

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